Who are you? That’s a question I thought I could answer for many years. However, that wasn’t the case… I fought myself internally for years, struggling with the “why am I like this” questionnaire. I never seemed to get things right, constantly in a cycle of self-sabotage. As a believer in Jesus I struggled with living up to what I believed the standards were. Though I knew we weren’t under the law and it was only by grace that my salvation came about, I still harbored self-hatred and frustration because of my inability to do right. It’s funny because if you listen to enough things on the internet, it’s easy to fall into the trap of “you aren’t doing enough” or “you have to change XYZ”. I soon learned though, the harder I tried, the worse things got.
Paul figured this out and attempted to help believers yet it now seems to be overlooked.
“19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.” – Romans 7:19-25
Aha! A better understanding is at hand here. Paul recognized a work at play and that work revolves around two opposing laws. The law of Godly desire and the law of sin. God gives us desires that long to please him, it’s the reason why our consciences become distressed whenever we do something wrong. Yet the law of sin continues to draw us in to itself only to abandon us once the damage has been done.
“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
The reason many of us struggle in doing the things we desire from a heart directed towards God, is because we do not realize who we truly are. You can only do things that line up with who you are, you become what you practice, and many of us practiced failure and self-sabotage. It doesn’t have to be this way though.
After wrestling with my thoughts and listening to a few believers who focus on Jesus and not sin, I came to realize much of my struggle was because I allowed my circumstances or actions to dictate who I was. I allowed every troubling moment to shape my identity instead of coming into agreement with Jesus. Understanding that He made me to be righteous and that I should walk in that gift.
If you are a struggling believer, I encourage you to accept the fact that Jesus has made you righteous and because of that you have free roam to practice righteousness. You are no longer enslaved to those things you don’t want to do, instead you are free.
If you are not a believer, but you find yourself also struggling in matters of doing things you don’t want to do, or feeling enslaved by your choices. I encourage you to put your faith and trust in the One who can set you free. His name is Jesus.
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” – John 8:36